End Gossip at Work: Transform your culture with The Clearing Protocol and this simple agreement.
Help your team to clear conflict and eliminate gossip with these two simple practices. Includes exact templates you can share with your team.
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I’ve been building companies and studying leadership for over 15 years. While many lessons I’ve learned came from books, mentors, and formal training, one of the most important truths about culture building was something I stumbled into when I was only 21.
I had just graduated from college when I started my first organization, a children’s nonprofit in Washington, D.C., called Dreams for Kids D.C. (recently rebranded to So Kids Soar) Our mission was to help kids with disabilities play sports—everything from ice hockey with the Washington Capitals to baseball with the Washington Nationals.
At that age, I didn’t have much funding to hire a full-time staff, so I got creative. I built our operations around a roving team of college interns—students who wanted to learn the ropes of entrepreneurship. For three years, this was how we operated: three interns during the school year, up to 10 in the summer.
During our first big summer with 10 full-time interns, I noticed something troubling. I’d overhear team members talking about others behind their backs. On a marketing call, someone might subtly critique the outreach efforts of the sales team. In casual conversations, I’d hear quiet complaints about a coworker’s performance.
I immediately recognized this for what it was: gossip. I could see how quickly it was putting people on edge. Even in our small office, trust was eroding, and the environment was becoming tense.
Enter - The No-Gossip Policy
At our next all-hands meeting, I addressed the issue directly. I invited everyone on the team to sign a “no-gossip policy.” I looked each of them in the eyes and said:
"Here’s the thing about gossip. When you talk about someone behind their back, you’re not just damaging their reputation—you’re damaging your own. You’re showing the person you’re speaking to that you’re not trustworthy, that you might turn around and talk about them when they’re not around. Gossip erodes trust and damages relationships, plain and simple. It has no place on this team."
I also shared something else that I hold to be true about gossip and generally talking shit about other people behind their back.
“Any time we talk negatively about others behind their backs, it is a direct representation of our own insecurity. The most confident people I know simply don’t do it.”
This simple rule became foundational, not just for that team, but for every culture I’ve built since. And here’s the thing—it works. By making gossip a non-negotiable and giving my teams the tools to address conflict directly, it’s simply not something I’ve had to deal with very often, and I’ve built 100+ person teams.
How Gossip Impacts Your Organization
In my work now as a leadership coach, I’ve seen how pervasive gossip can be in teams of all sizes. It’s one of the most common issues leaders face. Gossip creates silos, kills morale, and—most importantly—undermines the trust that is essential for a high-performing team.
On top of that, gossip traps people in the victim mindset and relinquishes them from taking responsibility for creating the solutions they want. The best teams take full responsibility and embrace radical ownership.
The good news? Eliminating gossip doesn’t have to be complicated. Here’s what I recommend:
Three Steps to Eliminating Gossip on Your Team
1. Start with a clear agreement.
Make the no-gossip policy an explicit part of your team culture. This doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations—it means committing to having those conversations directly. When someone joins your team, they should know this is part of how you operate.
Here’s my template - full version is also below.
2. Provide a system for addressing conflict.
Teach your team how to handle difficult conversations constructively. Equip them with tools for addressing issues directly with the person involved. One method I recommend is a simple framework I call the clearing protocol, I have shared it in detail below.
Here is my clearing protocol - full version also below.
3. Create recourse for unresolved issues.
I typically encourage companies to institute a policy where issues aren’t escalated until the employee has attempted to clear the issue directly with the other employee first.
With that said, not every conflict will be resolved in a one-on-one conversation, and that’s okay. Give your team a clear path for escalating unresolved issues to management. Make it known that leadership is there to facilitate clearing when you run into roadblocks.
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Culture doesn’t happen by accident. It’s built through intentional agreements, consistent reinforcement, and a shared commitment to values.
If you’re interested, here is the full guide I previously wrote about how to create a world-class culture efficiently and without spending unnecessary money.
The no-gossip policy is just one example, but it’s been a game-changer in every organization I’ve led and many of those that I have trained.
By addressing gossip directly, we create an environment of trust, accountability, and open communication where every team member can thrive. Ending gossip isn’t just about setting boundaries—it’s about empowering a culture where responsibility and honest communication can drive success.
Here are the two templates you can use to eliminate gossip in your culture…
Template 1: Team Agreement to End Gossip
At [Company Name], we are committed to fostering a culture of trust, transparency, and accountability. Gossip undermines relationships, erodes trust, and damages the integrity of our team. This agreement is designed to help us collectively eliminate gossip from our workplace and build a healthier, more productive culture.
Definition of Gossip
Gossip is defined as sharing any critical judgment or negative opinion about another employee behind their back without the intention of addressing it directly with them.
Commitments as a Team
Address Directly:
If I have a concern, feedback, or a critical judgment about someone, I will first reflect on how to approach the conversation constructively. Then, I will share it directly with the person involved via a clearing conversation or seek support to address it in a productive way.Avoid Triangulation:
I will avoid discussing concerns about a colleague with a third party unless I am seeking guidance on how to address the issue directly with the person involved.Create Safety for Accountability:
I commit to being open to feedback from others and to receiving it as an opportunity for growth, rather than defensiveness.Support the No-Gossip Policy:
If I hear gossip, I will politely redirect the conversation by asking, “Have you shared this directly with the person involved?”
What Happens When Gossip Occurs
First Incident:
The individual will receive a private conversation with their manager or team leader to address the behavior and reinforce the importance of our no-gossip agreement.
A reminder will be given about how to redirect concerns into direct communication.
Second Incident:
tbd
Third Incident:
tbd
#2 and #3 should be articulated according to your internal company policies.
How We Support Each Other
Open Door Policy: Leadership is available to help navigate challenging conversations or to mediate if needed.
Gratitude and Recognition: We will regularly celebrate team members who embody our values of directness, trust, and accountability.
Acknowledgment
By signing this agreement, I commit to upholding the no-gossip policy, fostering direct and transparent communication, and contributing to a positive team culture.
Name: _______________________________
Date: _______________________________
Template 2: The Clearing Conversation Protocol
This protocol was designed to repair disconnection or resentment with another person or group. If you have something sensitive that you need to share, follow the process below.
Things to remember…
Be intentional: How do you want to be and what is your goal for the conversation?
Be curious: What do you want to know about them and how they are feeling?
Listen to them the way you’d like to be listened to.
Be Authentic, with objectivity and positive intent. Facts, Feelings, Questions, Needs and Desires are welcome. Avoid judgments, criticisms and hyperbole.
Be open: Don’t approach this through the frame of right and wrong. Both of your perspectives are valid.
Seek a resolution that works for everyone involved.
For the Person Clearing the Issue
Step 1: Get consent
“I have something I’d like to clear with you. Is now a good time?”
If not now: “When would be a better time?”
Step 2: Share some appreciation
“ I wanted to start by letting you know that I appreciate you for x,y and z.”
Share any appreciation you have for them or their contributions on the team
Step 3: Set the Context
“Something has come up that I feel is important to share. I care about being honest with you because our relationship matters to me and I appreciate you being open to this conversation.”
Step 4: Authentic share (with objectivity and positive intent)
“The specific facts are…”
Observations - What are the objective things that happened or were said?
Feelings - How did that make you feel?
Needed - What did you need from them (looking back)
Request - What do you need from them moving forward to feel clear?
Curiosity - What questions do you have about them, what they’re feeling or what they need?
Step 5: Take Ownership
“I also wanted to share how I have played a role in this issue by x,y and z”
Take ownership for anything you have done that has contributed to the issue, tension or conflict.
Step 6: Invite them to share (after they have heard you to completion)
“I also wanted to know if there is anything that you would like to be heard on as it pertains to the issue?”
For the Person Listening
Step 1: Reflect and Confirm
“What I hear you saying is…”
(Paraphrase what you heard. Avoid interpreting or adding meaning.)“Did I get that right?”
(If not, invite clarification: “Can you help me understand more clearly?”)“Could you be more specific / or share just the facts”
(If they are sharing hyperbolic judgments or criticism, ask them to reframe)
Step 2: Invite More
“Is there anything else you’d like to share?”
(Ask with genuine curiosity and patience.)
Step 3: Ensure Completion
“Have you said everything you need to say here?”
(If not, go back to “Is there more?” until they feel complete.)
Step 4: Identify Next Steps or Requests
“Is there anything you would like us to do to resolve this issue?”
(If yes, clarify who will do what and by when.)
Step 5: Share some Appreciation
“Thank you for being willing to have this conversation directly. I appreciate your openness and honesty.”
If you have any questions about how to implement these practices, feel free to reach out to us or drop a comment on this thread.
What an incredibly clear approach and policy for addressing gossip. This issue is often ignored and, as you point out, can create a toxic environment unless it is an addressed proactively as you have so generously outlined. This deserves to be shared with every team leader and manager.